Chipmunk Troubles

Well turns out Henry isn't much of a hunter. In fact, I think the extent of his hunting skills involve watching a squirrel run in front of him then barking like a madman.
"HA! DID YOU SEE THAT!? I IS A HUNTER." Aww buddy, you're not a hunter, you're a Henry. And you'd be about as useful to a hunter as a screaming 2 year old.

Exhibit A.
Today while on his normal morning run I was fiddling with my watch, not looking in the road and Henry was trotting happily in front of me. I think he must be tired because he wasn't pulling me like crazy as usual (Apparently 7:45 miles are far too slow - Henry's a bit of a running snob.) So I let the leash extend out all 16 feet to reward him for being such a good running partner.

Anyway. So I'm not paying attention, Henry's in the lead. I felt the leash make a sharp right. I just so happen to look up, and what do I see?

Henry hunted down an already dead chipmunk off the side of the road, picked it up, and had it hanging out both sides of his mouth. My jaw dropped as I stared at intestines that were hanging 6 inches out of the side of his mouth, the chipmunks head dangling out the other side. And I'd be damned if I ever saw a dog looking more satisfied in my life.
"MOM LOOK WHAT I FOUND! WE CAN SHARE IT! WHAT A FIND! WHAT. A. FIND."
 I choked down puke as I turned into a psycho, throwing an absolute fit in the middle of the road.

"HENRY TOMMILA YOU DROP THAT CHIPMUNK RIGHT NOW! DROP IT! OH MY GOD. DROP IT! YOU DISGUSTING DOG!"

I screamed and yanked on his leash. But Henry didn't just drop it. Oh no, poodles would do that. Golden retrievers would do that. But coonhounds?
They fling it.
With a giant toss of his head, he sent the chipmunk sailing through the air about 4 feet into the middle of the road - in my general direction.
Spiting me? I think so.

He sat down and sent me the dirtiest look a dog can manage. I'm pretty sure he flipped me the bird.

And the whole time I'm jumping on the side of the road, flailing my hands screaming. I hope the neighbors were looking out their window at the whole scene.

The upside? He DID drop it immediately when I yelled, then sat down. So at least I was able to snap him back to reality after his little flashback to his homeless days.

However, I am still disgusted. Not a proud mom.

Also on the upside, we ran across a ton of dogs on our run and Henry hardly paid attention to them - even the big golden retriever tied up outside! And a little terrier who ran down his driveway to greet us. Henry's inconsistency definitely keeps us on our toes, but it's always an awesome surprise when he's good!

And now we're all sitting outside enjoying the sunshine, Henry on his tie out. We just had a proud parent moment when Bentley, the little dog across the street, came around the corner to say hi and Henry trotted up to him, tail wagging, and they played for a bit. Henry got a little rough (Bentley is a tiny dog) for a second but calmed down. After that Bentley left. I'm pretty sure Bentley thinks Henry is a little bit of an asshole, but Henry told me he thinks Bentley is a wuss. I think I see a love/hate relationship is forming with that little pup.

And now? Some pictures of Henry licking the inside of a peanutbutter jar we gave him last night. He was overjoyed. It was hysterical to see him hold it between his paws.